The New Tom Hanks Pinocchio Is a Clumsy, Awkward, CGIed Mess
Disney’s remake of its 1940 animated classic Pinocchio is just as bad as you’ve heard.
379 Article(s) by: Eileen Jones
Eileen Jones is a film critic at Jacobin, host of the Filmsuck podcast, and author of Filmsuck, USA.
Bling-Bling TV
As standards of living fall at the bottom and rise at the top, the only thing to do is watch TV about the trivial problems of the phenomenally rich.
Three Thousand Years of Longing Is the Genie-Professor Love Story You Never Asked For
Three Thousand Years of Longing, director George Miller’s whimsical follow-up to Mad Max: Fury Road, finds him returning to the gentle storytelling he perfected in the Babe films. Too bad this one’s a slog.
In Emily the Criminal, Crime Pays When Nothing Else Will
Aubrey Plaza’s title character in Emily the Criminal is trapped by crushing student loan debt, a punitive criminal justice system, and low wages. She, like so many other Americans, feels like she’s out of legitimate options — because she is.
Jamie Foxx’s Day Shift Is Another Big-Budget Netflix Mediocrity
With a solid premise about working-class vampire hunters, Day Shift had real potential — but there’s no escaping the Netflix curse.
Thirteen Lives Leaves the Viewer Stuck Between Rocks and Ron Howard
At the heart of the new film Thirteen Lives lies a paradox. On the one hand, Ron Howard can be boring and annoying. On the other, caves are really cool, and we all want to see a group of teenagers get rescued from deep in the bowels of one.
Bodies Bodies Bodies Is a Bad Class Satire and a Boring Film
Like so many horror films attempting to be subversive, Bodies Bodies Bodies tries to satirize the upper class. But all it delivers are tired, lazy tropes about Gen Z.
The Bear’s Kitchen Nightmares Make for Great TV
In FX’s The Bear, a struggling Chicago family restaurant is the site of hope and ambition — and it’s thrilling to watch.
Prey Brilliantly Revives the Predator Franchise
Hollywood loves to crank out boring action movies. But Hulu’s Prey is anything but. It plays off of and reverses long-standing Hollywood tropes about Native Americans to craft an alien thriller that actually delivers.
Brad Pitt’s Bullet Train Is a Train Wreck
Don’t let the glossy trailers fool you — Brad Pitt’s new action comedy, Bullet Train, is a strenuous and leaden film that never takes off.
B. J. Novak’s Vengeance Is a Dark Satire of America’s Cultural Divide
Actor B. J. Novak’s impressive directorial debut, Vengeance, sends a Brooklyn writer out to West Texas in order to turn a family’s grief into a podcast. It’s a satire that nails our era like no other.
Jordan Peele’s Nope Is a Triumph
Writer-director Jordan Peele’s mysterious third film, Nope, draws on genre tropes from both alien invasion films and Westerns, but it ends up with something altogether original: a Hollywood spectacle about spectacle.
Netflix Bets Big on The Gray Man and Loses
With its stock cratering and its audience shrinking, Netflix needs a savior. But The Gray Man, a bloated and boring $200 million action movie, is unlikely to be it.
Where the Crawdads Sing Is Pure Book Club Sentimentalism
Reese Witherspoon’s book club made the 2018 novel Where the Crawdads Sing a hit. The new film adaptation, just like the book it’s based on, is pure bathos of the mushiest kind.
Persuasion Is the Goofy Jane Austen No One Asked For
Netflix’s Persuasion tries and fails to bring Fleabag’s irreverence to Jane Austen.
The Strenuous Comedy of Thor: Love and Thunder
Taika Waititi’s second Thor film doubles down on his trademark mix of silliness and somberness. It still works — but it might not survive another sequel.
Baz Luhrmann Is Giving Us a Good, Clean Elvis for the 21st Century
Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis tries to sell audiences on a sanitized version of the King, missing the much weirder, wilder, and messier truth of his life and career.
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande Has a “Magic Sex Worker” Problem
Critics are fawning over Good Luck to You, Leo Grande for its “brave” sex positivity. But the crowd-pleasing comedy is actually anxiously prescriptive, and it relies on an angelic and selfless sex worker to teach a middle-aged woman how to love her body.
Jurassic World: Dominion Is a New Low for a Never-Ending Franchise
The latest Jurassic Park sequel is exhausted and running on fumes. Big, loud, annoying fumes.
Danny Boyle’s Pistol Sells Punk — and the Sex Pistols — Short
How can someone take a band as exciting, wild, and innovative as the Sex Pistols and make such a conventional, paint-by-numbers miniseries? With Pistol, Danny Boyle found a way.