I keep a portrait of Machiavelli over my desk at work — an interior design choice that, I have learned, dismays some of my coworkers. Amid a recent mid-afternoon zone out, I received an email from one of them with the title “Who Wants to Serve a Billionaire?” The message contained a link to an article in the Guardian about a growing group of international multi-billionaires, their so-called “superyachts,” and the desperate lower-class Britons and Eastern Europeans who serve them as deckhands.

The report is an indelible document of our time, something like the “Newsreel” scenes from John Dos Passos’ USA trilogy. It’s a testament to the rapidly diverging fortunes of the 1% and the rest of us the world over. “These are people who are used to getting what they want,” the reporter reminds us, “and, as employers, they tend to be extremely exacting.” A training session for these maritime helots (“who need to be equipped with discretion, servility and good ironing skills”) serves to frame the piece. The trainer, a no-nonsense retired deckhand named Terry Gilmore, doesn’t hesitate to warn his pupils that their life on the high seas will be anything but glamorous. “Staff need to understand they will simply be ‘glorified cleaners,’ he tells them.” His training program is preparation for a life of moderately compensated debasement:

Trainees must memorise correct forms of address from a training manual, which informs them that it is unacceptable to ask “Why?” (it should be substituted with “May I know the reason?”). The inquiry “Are you done?” should be replaced with “May I ask if you have finished?”

Trainees are told that some guests may request that they stand silently on board deck, motionless in the sunshine, waiting for instructions. “It’s stupid, because they could use a buzzer,” Gilmore says, but much of the staffing on yacht businesses is about ostentation and if a motionless steward, standing by on deck is what the owner requests, then staff are not to argue.

He tells trainees they must never wear sunglasses while addressing guests on board a yacht, because guests want to see be able to see their eyes.

“Never stand there and tell them your life story. Never interrupt the guest. Never ask them personal questions,” he says. “Just say, ‘Good morning, sir.’ Don’t ignore them, but don’t engage.”