Everybody Wants Some!!, Richard Linklater’s new movie title, has two exclamation points at the end that accurately reflect the Van Halen song it’s quoting. I resent them. If ever a film had no right to even a single exclamation point, it is this one.

The only exclamation-point-worthy aspect of Everybody Wants Some!! is that Linklater could raise ten million dollars to direct a long, dull, uncritical, droolingly nostalgic film about himself as a young jock and his young jock teammates who are all at college to play baseball and get laid.

The film’s not particularly funny — I counted a grand total of four mild chuckles in the theater where I watched it, and none of them came from me.