Onward, a new British center-right think tank, recently released a report entitled Generation Why?. It shows that the average age when voters switch from Labour and start backing the Conservatives has gone up . . . and up and up to reach fifty-one. That means, if you live to be a century old, statistically you’ll spend slightly more of your life voting Labour than you will voting Conservative.

Unless the Conservative Party has a way to turn the Barbour-sporting, Jaguar-driving, property-owning pub bores of Tunbridge Wells into immortal vampires, this is bad news for them in the long term, as the Tory “cartoon supervillain” approach to governance shows itself to be less and less electorally viable among living humans, who represent an important voting bloc.

Generation Why suggests there is a cadre of three million people under thirty-five “who would consider voting Conservative but would not do so tomorrow,” unless the party returns to the “center ground.” What’s the center ground, exactly? Onward’s research says it’s all about “being tough on crime, reducing migration, reducing taxes, making public services more efficient, caring about the environment, and acting to ensure businesses are acting responsibly,” while at the same time acting “relentlessly . . . to make young people materially better off . . . make developers invest in local infrastructure, and improve the quality of new housing.”