Even if your friends can’t see it, big things are on the horizon for you. You’re about to be the first person to really understand what Gilles Deleuze was trying to say. Ignore what the doctors tell you: you’re not crazy — you’re just seeing things other people can’t.

Remember, Karl Marx was a Taurus. So are you — which means you’re doomed to a life of poverty, illness, exile, and perennially disappointed parents. But don’t worry; you’ll be translated into both Basque and Bulgarian less than 35 years after your death.

Warning: danger looms. Do not go to that concert, do not return that call, do not answer the door. That’s not fate knocking; that’s your downstairs neighbor — your toilet’s overflowing. Boy, is that going to be expensive! But don’t worry too much, the sun is still in your sign, dancing with arrogant Pluto. You’ll get through this, most likely. Avoid the color mauve at all costs.