One of the hardest things about feminist parenting is the princess phase. If you are trying to raise a child in a patriarchal capitalist society, you’ll probably wake up one day to find your little one enamored of all things pink and sparkling. Although children of all genders may find themselves seduced by the Disney-industrial complex, it is most often little girls who succumb to the desire to don tiaras, wave wands, and prance about in billowing skirts, puffed sleeves, and sweetheart necklines.

In my own case, after months of trying to resist, I finally gave in when my toddler begged for a Cinderella costume. At least it was blue. I had done everything possible to resist the gendered socialization she faced. Every time someone told my daughter that she was “pretty” or “cute,” I immediately interjected that she was also “brave” and “smart” and “strong.”

This became an almost mantra-like habit. I’d be standing in the grocery store checkout line, and my daughter would be sitting in the front of the shopping cart. Someone behind me would say, “Oh, what a beautiful little girl!” And I would unthinkingly add: “And also brave and smart and strong.”