Too many liberal feminists purport to want to #SmashThePatriarchy without really understanding what this concept means and how it infiltrates our everyday lives. A Greek word that means “the rule of the father,” patriarchy has long worked to oppress all people who lack the social position or necessary requirements to become patriarchs (such as being a first-born son or having independent means). Patriarchy not only shapes our public worlds as workers and consumers, but also regulates the most intimate details of our private experiences. But the “rule of the father” isn’t something just asserted, it depends on specific social customs regarding the shape of our families.

Patriarchy is partially rooted in the cultural and legal traditions of patrilineality (paternal descent) and patrilocality (where wives leave their natal kin to join a husband’s family). These twin forces still operate in the daily lives of billions of people and maintain a distinct lingering influence even in contemporary cultures that see themselves as more “enlightened” with regards to the traditional family. We can’t undermine patriarchy without dealing first with these two less familiar concepts: patrilineality and patrilocality.