The Politics of Falling in Love
Heteropessimism holds that men and women are incapable of understanding one another, foreclosing the possibility of more equal, fulfilling relations between the genders. But romantic love may offer us a way out of a social order in which everyone loses.

We need a way of understanding our relationships that takes gendered power imbalances seriously without turning men and women into clear-cut camps of winners and losers. (Adam Berry / Getty Images)
Sveriges Television (SVT), Sweden’s tax-funded public service broadcaster, has recently launched Silent Attraction, which seems to be an exceptional reality show even by global standards. In the show, left-leaning women and manosphere-influenced men are brought together in a large house to find a potential partner without initially knowing anything about each other’s political views.
The premise is as simple as it is awkward: the sixteen participants are not allowed to speak to one another. Instead they are encouraged to observe each other, perform exercises in which they stare deeply into one another’s eyes, and attend pool parties where they use body language to get to know each other and signal whom they find attractive.
Those who make a match are eventually allowed to speak, beginning in the third and fourth episodes. But just as they do, they are shown prerecorded videos in which their match explains their views on gender, equality, LGBT+ rights, climate change, and other political questions. They are then asked to reflect on how these views affect their initial attraction and to continue exploring their attraction and the possibility of entering a relationship in their home settings.