For Mothers Like Me, Raising a Child Involves Managing a Constant Sense of Rage
The US lacks the most basic policies and infrastructure to support parents like me — and mothers bear the worst of it. At a time when we should be overjoyed at the life we’ve brought into the world, we feel anger at a system that’s hostile to us.
When it comes to family policies like paid parental leave, the United States pales in comparison to other nations. (John Moore / Getty Images)
In the months after giving birth to my son, I felt a deep rage.
I experienced many other emotions too. I moved through the complicated joy and exhaustion that comes with nabbing three hours of sleep at a time and willing my body to produce enough milk to keep a tiny new person alive. But anytime I felt the gaping lack of resources available to new moms in our society — which was often — this simmering anger caught me by surprise.
One day, I found myself catching up on work at the kitchen counter, keeping an eye on the rice cooker, holding my son against one hip, and struggling to keep the phone out of his reach as I dialed one day care I could not afford after the next, pleading to put me on the waitlist. During these moments big and small that made up the chaos of new motherhood, the same maddening thought crossed my mind: “Why does our society pretend to center families but deprive us of any real support?” There’s no sensible answer, and it weighs heavily on parents like me at a time when we’re already stretched incredibly thin.
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